Monday, July 19, 2010

Cat Warning Labels

Here's what they DON'T tell you when you give a sweet little kitten a home:


1. You will become scarred with Maggie's scratch/bite marks.
2. You will become Maggie's mattress at 4 am every morning.
     2.5. You will become Maggie's trampoline at 6.
3. Maggie shall poop, pee and puke in your car for every ride to the vet. Both to and from the house.
4. She will learn that the dog is toothless and attempt to attack daily.
5. She will pee in the corner of the house - which is a hardwood floor twice a day.
6. She will eat any flowers your boyfriend gives you starting with the leaves.
7. Maggie will jump from your nightstand to your window ledge thereby knocking over your nightstand and break 4 lamps in one month.
8. She will eat her weight in food after she gets spade.

9. Weird, dead animals will start appearing in your house.
10. Maggie will take every opportunity to escape from your house. Once outside, she will get scared by a trash can, climb up the brick wall and start screaming bloody murder.
11. And you can do nothing about this stuff, because she is so darn cute - even if you hate cats.