Friday, May 21, 2010
Bring it on Westminster!
Have you ever wondered what would happen if Yoda from Star Wars and Gizmo from Gremlins had a love child? It would be my dog.
Stella is a Chinese Crested mixed with a Boston Terrier. Most Chinese Cresteds max out at 10 lbs. Stella weighs 28 lbs. So a HUGE Boston mated with a HUGE Chinese. I hope the mom was the terrier or that labor must have sucked. I have never seen another dog like her. I wonder what the rest of the litter came out as? My bro-in law, Steve thinks that Stella was not born, but flew here on a spaceship and is actually transmitting information about our planet through her tongue. When she is licking the air with her tongue (for no particular reason) he yells out in his best “Stella” voice, “TRANSMITTING DATA. TRANSMITTING DATA.”
Don’t feel too sorry for her. She gets back at him. Being a CC and a BT, she has breathing problems that would make a pug ashamed. My dog snores louder that any dog, human, or moose that I have ever met or slept with. One weekend, Steve and Hannah were dog sitting Stella while I went to Kansas City for the Cardinals/Royals baseball battle. Stella stayed in their bedroom with them. Steve kicked my sister and Stella out of the bedroom to sleep in the guest room. Stella was too loud, and he couldn’t sleep. Seriously. She’s a train. I am in the living room of my apartment typing this right now. Stella is on the opposite side of the apartment in the bedroom. I can hear her snoring. I am sure my neighbors must think I am housing an old man in my bedroom. I got used to it and don’t notice it most of the time.
When I take Stella out to parties, which I often do, she tends to tap out before anyone else. Nothing is funnier than watching people look around the living room as the sound of a snore breaks out. “Who is that snoring?”
“Stella.” Then they watch in fascination as my dog, who has found a pillow or rug on the ground – or maybe even a spare arm chair – rips through the night with her ZZZZ’s. People actually have to speak louder to be heard over her.
It’s the allergies. She’s allergic to air, apparently. Her Benadryl helps, but on bad nights when it is dusty or the mold count is high, you are not sleeping in silence. Sometimes she even wakes herself up and looks at me like, “Wow, who’s snoring so loud?”
Go back to sleep, Stella, I will try to keep it down.